By Roberta Sarver
In modern times. a cliché often means a word or phrase that may have been thought-provoking at first, but has been repeated so often it has lost its impact. Did you ever consider how many times we sprinkle our conversation with clichés?
I rose to a challenge. Below you will find a story composed almost entirely of common clichés. See if you can spot them all.
Bart stumbled down the steps early that morning, grumpy as usual. “Looks like he got up on the wrong side of bed,” smirked Granny.
“Yep, commented Gramps. “He acts like he’s got a burr in his sock.”
Breakfast was no better. “Cat got your tongue?” asked Granny as she poured Bart’s orange juice. Hardly glancing up from his newspaper, the businessman in a three-piece-suit dryly said, “Well, the handwriting’s on the wall. Our town lawyer has been sued for malpractice.”
“I’d say he got his comeuppance,” grunted Gramps. “If you read between the lines of his last speech, you can see everything is not in apple pie order. Looks like he’ll be leaving town with his tail between his legs.”
“That’s what he gets for chasing the almighty dollar,” mused Granny. “All that glitters isn’t gold, you know.”
“Read between the lines, Granny,” said Bart. “He thought he could kiss and make up after his last scandal.”
“Well, every cloud has a silver lining,” said Gramps. “Now the town will be better off without Mr. High-and-Mighty strutting his stuff around Girt’s Gulp & Go Cafe.”
“Say, I went there last week,” Bart said as he polished off the last of the bacon. “Their cinnamon rolls are out of this world!”
“But Girt’s coffee is like battery acid,” Granny said. “If it doesn’t kill you, it’ll cure you!”
That being said, Bart flew out the door and they all lived happily ever after.
See what I mean? The person well stocked up on clichés doesn’t even have to think; the clichés just roll off the tongue like water off a duck’s back.
Roberta Sarver is an author and songwriter who lives in central Missouri. Her humor columns appear in the Versailles Leader-Statesman and her original songs of worship have appeared on radio stations across the nation. She and her husband are the parents of seven children.