Armchair Holy Land Tour – Part Four

By Roberta Sarver

 

Lest you become bored with my treatise on Israel, today you will see a few quick observations.

  • Israeli toilets have two buttons on top, a large and a small one. It doesn’t take rocket science to figure out what they’re for.
  • Meals at the five-star hotel were elaborate, yet surprising. They used a lot of spices which we were unable to identify, and served olives and dates at every meal, as well as a variety of cheeses and fresh fruit.
  • We saw a KFC sign in Bethlehem which advertised “AFC” (Arab Fried Chicken). Likewise, a restaurant sign was painted green and labeled “Stars and Bucks.”
  • A church had a single sign out front that said in large letters, “THOU SHALT NOT.” We chuckled and wondered if they had standing-room-only crowds.
  • Women on the streets covered up most of their skin, except faces and hands. Most wore fashionable pants and tunics, as well as scarves.
  • My husband ordered baked fish once. They served it whole.
  • Both young women and men are required to serve in their military, starting at age 18. Women must serve two years, while men serve three. They carry their guns everywhere, even in the restrooms.
  • There were no morbidly-obese Israelis in the places we visited. Apparently their

Mediterranean diet works!

  • One of the young girls in our tour group had blond hair and a pretty face. A Middle Eastern man approached the young man walking beside her and said, “She is very bee-yoo-tee-ful. I will give you five hundred camels and three donkeys for her.”
  • Jewish people are very careful to observe their Sabbath (our Saturday). Because they consider it work to push elevator buttons on the Sabbath, on that day their elevators automatically stop on each floor, and the doors open.
  • My husband went into the Dead Sea. You really can’t sink!

Thank you for coming along on this virtual tour of the Holy Land.  It truly is a special place and we felt privileged to have gone there.  Shalom.

Roberta Sarver is an author and songwriter who lives in central Missouri. Her humor columns appear in the Versailles Leader-Statesman and her original songs of worship have appeared on radio stations across the nation. She and her husband are the parents of seven children.

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